Crash & Burn

We're nearing the end of my firefighter's first 4 days off. Though this is the last "free" day for him ... and I'm working. I'm disappointed in this 4 day. I guess I should get used to it, that's what I read on another firefighter's wife blog. I thought we'd have *great* family time, fun time, good time. Instead it's been the opposite. He's got his own plans to fill his 4 days, and I've got none. He left me a note on his way out the door with $20 saying to take myself out to dinner, whatever I wanted. I left a note saying TAKE me and PL (baby daughter) out to dinner sometime instead. He said he wouldnt be gone long, it wouldnt be a late night. It was a late night. So late that I began to wonder where else he'd been ... He reassured me he came straight home from the lake. He's taking us out to dinner tonight, but there's tension. There's always tension. We cant talk about because of a volcanic eruption that will never cease to spew out it's burning words. To say the last I dont have a weekend to look forward to, and dont even want to care when his next 4 day is. Wishing the fire department was the local area instead of 30 miles away, maybe then I'd have a chance of meeting other ladies on the same department, in the same shoes.